When I arrived home that night, the dinner had been already served. I took my wife`s hand and told her that we needed to talk. She sat down and ate her dinner in silence. I watched her and saw the pain in her eyes. I was lost for words and didn’t know how to start the conversation. But I needed to let her know that I want a divorce. She wasn’t annoyed by what I said and only asked me what was the reason for my decision. I avoided the question, which made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and told me that I was not a real man!
That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
As much guilty as I felt at that moment, I drafted a divorce agreement saying that she gets the house, the car and 30 percent stake of the company. She looked at it and then tore it to pieces. This only made me angry and I felt that the woman I was married to for 10 years is nothing but a stranger to me. I felt sorry for her wasted years, energy and resources but I couldn’t take back the words I had said. She then started to cry, which something I was prepared for and seemed like a release for me. The idea of a divorce which tormented me for weeks seemed much clearer now.
I came late home the next day and found her writing something. I didn’t pay attention to it and went to bed without having a dinner as I was quite exhausted after the busy day I had spent with Jane. When I woke up she was still writing at the table, but I didn’t care and simply turned over. The next morning I gave her the divorce paper and presented the conditions. However, she didn’t want anything except for a month`s notice prior to the divorce. She only asked for a month during which we were supposed to act normal. She explained that she didn’t want to disrupt our son with our problems as he was busy with his exams. Another thing she asked for was to remember how I carried her into the bridal room on our wedding day. Then, she asked me to do carry her from the room to the front door every morning over the course of the entire month. As much crazy this idea seemed to me, I accepted in order to make our last days bearable.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
Since I handed her the divorce paper, me and my wife didn’t have any body contact whatsoever. So, when I carried her out of the on the first day, we both felt strange. Our son started to laugh and teased us, saying “Daddy is holding mommy in his arms.” I walked over ten meters with her in my arms, from the bedroom to the sitting room, and then to the door. She only closed her eyes and asked me to stay silent about the divorce. I said that I would and put her outside the door. She went to wait the bus to work and I drove alone to my office. On the second day, she leaned on my chest and I was able to smell her fragrance. Then I realized that I hadn’t looked at her for a very long time. I was able to see her wrinkles, her aging signs, and the things indicating that our marriage had taken its toll on her.
On the fourth day, I felt a sense of intimacy and I couldn’t neglect the fact that she was the one who had given 10 years of her life to me. Over the couple of few days, the sense of intimacy was growing and carrying her became much easier. In fact, I didn’t even notice that a month had passed. I thought that the everyday training had made me stronger, but I soon realized that it was her who lost weight and became much lighter. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain in her heart. As I was reaching out and touching her head, our son came and said, “Dad, it’s time to carry mom out.” To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife approached our son and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind! Then I took her in my arms and carried her through the bedroom, the sitting room, and the hallway. She hugged me and that moment was just like our wedding day. However, her weight concerned me and even made me sad.
On the last day, I could hardly move while carrying her around the house. I held her tightly and told her that intimacy was the only thing our marriage lacked. Then, I drove to the office and left the car without even locking it. When I entered the office, Jane came and I told her that I didn’t want the divorce anymore.
“Do you have a fever? “she asked me, touching my forehead. “Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.” Jane slapped me, slammed the door, and left crying. I left the building and left to the nearest floral shop to order a bouquet of flowers for my wife. On the salesgirl`s question what to write on the card, I told her to write” I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.”
I took the flowers and left home happy. However, I run up upstairs to find my wife dead on our bed. It turned out that she had been suffering from cancer over the past months and I failed to notice as I was too busy with Jane. Knowing that she would die soon, she only wanted to save me from negative reactions from our son, in case we get divorced. She wanted me to be a loving husband in the eyes of our son.
It is the small things in our lives that really matter. It is not the money on our bank account, the big house, or the car. These things seemingly provide happiness, but that`s not real happiness. Make sure you find time for your spouse and keep you intimacy going by doing little things that make both of you happy.